Try Your Emotion
by Silent Dirge
Summary: ONE SHOT. PonyboyJohnny pairing. An innocent movie can lead to some confessions. Shounen-ai, slash, yaoi, boyboy.


Try Your Emotion  
  
Rating: R for sexual content. Alot of it. Explictness. Oh my. Don't read this is you don't like SLASH, YAOI, or LEMONS. Or the Ponyboy/Johnny pairing.  
  
This is BEFORE the events in the book. Got that?  
  
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The movie was almost at the end, and it wasn't even seven yet. Darry had told Pony he didn't need to be home until at least eight, since he was out at the gym and Sodapop had gone out with Steve and their girlfriends. Not like it mattered; Pony would be home by seventy-thirty, since this movie would end at about six-thirty, and he and Johnny would head down to the lot and talk aimlessly for awhile. That was their thing they did almost every weekend. A movie and a long chat under the stars.  
  
Ponyboy was staring at the bright screen, grey-green eyes glowing with the light from it. He wasn't there; he was within the movie, absorbed into it. That's what he always did; it was his way. A escape from reality. An escape from the harshness of being a greaser. Johnny looked sideways at Pony, as he had done regularly since the movie began, whenever they went. He usually waited until Pony had became enveloped in the movie, but not this time. Johnny's looks at him were becoming for frequent and prolonged. He couldn't understand why he liked to look at Pony, why he felt happy when he did. So he just did what his body wanted to do, and tried not to get caught. What if Pony thought he was weird?  
  
Johnny leaned back in his chair and dropped his gaze onto the seat in front of him. He couldn't finish watching this. He knew all he'd do was look at Pony more and more. It was making him uneasy and scared; what was this? Shaking his shaggy black head, he tried to think about other things. Like that girl who sat next to him in History with the red hair. She giggled at him alot.   
  
"Focus on her..." Johnny thought, putting his hands in his pockets. "You like girls, not your best friend..."  
  
All he could think about was his best friend, unfortunately. Pale, creamy skin with reddish brown hair, a serious face, with soft green-grey eyes... Johnny tried not to think about it, for fear Pony might notice his attraction...  
  
"Johnny?" Ponyboy poked his shoulder a second time, only harder and longer. "Hey, Johnny, you alive?"  
  
Johnny looked up quickly at Pony, his dark brown eyes wide with fear. He blushed slightly, but it was too dark to notice, and besides, Johnny had dark skin to begin with. He closed his legs together tighter, trying to make it unnoticeable. Pony didn't notice at all, and grinned at him.  
  
"Guess you fell asleep, huh?" Ponyboy punched Johnny's left shoulder gently, and Johnny forced a smile. He was nervous; that hardness in between his thighs had gone back down slightly, but was still there. Standing up, hands still in his pockets, Johnny riffled about for a cigarette to calm him down. He needed one bad at that moment. Pony furrowed his brows at Johnny's rushed nature.  
  
"What's wrong?" Ponyboy asked him as Johnny pulled his cigarette pack out of his jean jacket's pocket and lit it, taking a long drag. It wasn't normal for Johnny to be so jumpy and energetic.   
  
"Nothin." Johnny said shortly and looked at Pony quickly, then past him at a blonde Soc girl kissing her boyfriend. He looked away from that scene as well; he didn't want to start imagining that was him and Pony.  
  
"Well, come on then, move." Pony smiled and edged past him, heading for the exit to the area. Johnny took another long drag before crushing the lit cancer stick under his heel; that one moment of closeness to Pony had made it even worse. He hurried to meet Pony and walk beside him, gaze down, thick greasy black hair covering his eyes.  
  
"I didn't like that movie." Pony tried to speak to Johnny, but he refused to look up. Mentally, Pony growled. He liked talking to Johnny; it was easier than anyone else in the gang. Maybe because he trusted Johnny alot. Or maybe it was some other reason. He didn't know why. It just was.  
  
Ponyboy looked over at Johnny. For a sixteen year old, he sure looked alot younger than he was. And shorter. Someone could easily mistake them both for fourteen. But maybe that's why Pony liked him; he didn't seem alot older than him. So maybe it would be alright...  
  
"Are ya wantin' to go to the lot tonight?" he asked Johnny slowly, hoping he'd get an answer. He liked going to the lot with Johnny; it gave him an excuse to sit close to him, feel his warmth...  
  
"Are you?" Johnny's soft voice broke his slight train of thought. Pony nodded quickly.   
  
"Of course." He smiled gently at Johnny, and wished inside that Johnny would smile back.  
  
~~~  
  
Ponyboy watched as Johnny stirred the still glowing embers of what was once their fire. They hadn't really talked about much in that amount of time; just small things. What they had been doing is enjoying each other's company, more or less. He watched as the black haired boy placed the poking stick down and moved back to join Pony again, laying on his back. He was close, and Pony tried not to cuddle up to him like was wanting to do badly.  
  
Johnny closed his eyes and tried to relax. He wanted to put his arms around Pony and hold him, or put his head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Anything to be closer to him. Anything to show what he was feeling, that he needed to tell him after so long...  
  
The two boys were silent. The only sounds were a gentle breeze blowing by, rustling the tree leaves. Johnny opened his eyes to look up at the sky, and began to search for some stars. There was only one or two out this early; it wasn't until at least nine that many would fill the sky.   
  
Another small breeze passed by, and he felt Pony shiver slightly. Looking over at him, he realized Pony wasn't wearing another but a staple of the greaser style: a sleeveless t-shirt and a pair of jeans. No wonder he was cold. Looking back down, towards his outstretched feet, he thought on what to do.  
  
Pony was shivering on purpose of course; he didn't know what else to do. He wanted Johnny's attention, to tell him what he felt. To be close to him. He tried to keep his voice steady. "I'm cold." Pony got what he wanted; Johnny turned his shaggy head to look at him with those gentle dark brown eyes.   
  
"Want my jacket?" He offered; Pony had guessed that would be coming, and answered simply.   
  
"No...you need that..." Pony looked back down at the ground and rubbed his arms, trying not to grin. Johnny would have to say it now. Or at least, he hoped he would.  
  
If he didn't, he'd just have to force it out of him.  
  
"Well, then I can make another fire." Johnny sat himself upright, and wandered over to the fire. He sat down, a small cloud of dust rising up. Pony sighed; that's not the answer he wanted. He sat up quickly, saying to Johnny, "I wanted you to...." he swallowed hard, "to make me warm." Pony felt his face grow hot, and he knew he was blushing. He had to say it though; he had to tell his friend. He wanted him to know.  
  
Johnny didn't move. Pony didn't know if he was breathing or not; it was so quiet, he could hear his own heart racing. Would Johnny hate him for what he said? Would he like him too? Pony swallowed hard and slowly stood up. He wanted to approach Johnny, to show he wasn't afraid of what he said. But he couldn't move. His legs were like lead. So there he stood, red-faced and nervous, praying Johnny wouldn't stand up and spit on him.  
  
Johnny, on the other hand, was as scared as he was. He wanted to stand up and tell Ponyboy he felt the same; but he couldn't move. He could barely breathe. It was too much like a dream to be real. Staring at a small rip in the knee of his jeans, he said nothing. He couldn't. And he didn't know what to say in the first place.  
  
"Pony..." Johnny could barely hear his own voice as he said it. But Pony seemed to pick up on this; he had sat down next to him, and Johnny could feel his eyes on him. Slowly, he glanced sideways, turning his head as well. Pony's gentle face was smiling at him, barely illuminated in the night's dark veil. He could only stare, eyes wide.  
  
"I..." Pony started, eyes looking straight at the ground, "I...I like you, Johnny. I have for awhile now...I just couldn't say anything..."  
  
Johnny thought his heart stopped. He was dreaming. Pony wouldn't say that to him. Liking a person for your same sex was wrong. This wasn't happening. Johnny knew he had to say something.  
  
"I...like you too, Pony." Once again, Johnny's voice was barely audible. But Pony must have guessed what he said, and slowly put his slender, pale skinned arms around Johnny's waist. Johnny whimpered softly; he was scared. Pony was scared too, but he knew Johnny was too nervous to do anything. Johnny turned his head to face Pony, staring at his softly smiling face. They stayed like that for a moment, and Johnny decided to turn to face Pony, wrapping his arms around Pony's waist as well, hands resting on the small of his back.  
  
"You're not..afraid?" Johnny tried to smile, but he couldn't. If his heart beat any faster, he was afraid it would burst.   
  
Ponyboy shook his head, no longer smiling. "No...I'm as scared as you are. I was scared when I realized I was in love with you...I shrugged it off, but I guess...now we know..." Pony leaned forward gently, wanting the moment to be perfect. He felt Johnny flinch as he closed he eyes, and gently put his lips against the older boy's, kissing him softly. It was quick, and Pony leaned back slowly, looking at Johnny's surprised expression.   
  
"Pony..." Johnny's eyes were open wide again, his hands pulling Pony closer to him. He was still nervous, but knew that if Pony didn't mind it...he shouldn't worry about it either. Pony moved himself closer and moved in between Johnny's legs, straddling him. He moved his face close, and smiled faintly at Johnny. Johnny tried to smile back, but he was more focused on what he wanted to do at the moment...  
  
"Ponyboy..." Johnny leaned forwards, closing his eyes and taking Pony's lips into a hard kiss. Pony's hands grabbed at Johnny, and he kissed him back as hard, breathing hard. They continued this hard kiss for a few more seconds, then stopped to look at each other. Johnny suddenly grinned, and leaned forward, placing his mouth over Pony's. He heard Pony moan softly and open his mouth, letting Johnny slowly put his tongue into his. They ran their hands over each other's bodies, exploring what they would have been too afraid to touch before. The kiss deepened, and they stopped to catch their breath. They were looking into each other's eyes, knowing it was the one they wanted. The one they were in love with.  
  
Johnny lay down slowly, Pony laying down ontop of him. He stared up at the green-grey eyes, focused on him with a loving glow inside of them. He knew Pony was looking down at him the same way; and he smiled. A kind of smile he rarely used; only when he was truly happy. Pony grinned back in a playful manner and gave Johnny another soft kiss, running his fingers through the older boy's thick black hair. Johnny returned the favor by slowly putting his hands underneath Pony's shirt, feeling him gently. Pony stopped kissing him to moan loudly, and Johnny stopped. He didn't want anyone to hear them.   
  
"Pony...we should go somewhere else. Anyone will see us." Johnny swallowed hard and tried to sit up, but Pony pushed him back down and kissed his cheek gently. He felt like he was in a dream; his mind was hazy, and he felt warm. But he knew they should be more careful.  
  
"Alright...my brothers won't be home until about eight-thirty, so we have a good amount of time..." there was a hint of mischief in Pony's voice. Johnny wasn't sure about this.  
  
~~~  
  
(Beyond this point lies male on male sex. Oh my. Viewer discretion is advised.)  
  
Pony flicked the light switch to the living room on, Johnny closing the door quietly behind him. As he turned to face Pony, he heard him sigh loudly and look around the room. Johnny gave the area a quick once-over as well; it seemed that Two-Bit might have been here earlier, as well as a wrestling competition between Sodapop and Steve. The place was a mess.  
  
"I guess I'll take care of this hellpit later. Come on Johnny." Ponyboy turned around and gave a playful grin to Johnny, and Johnny returned it. Following after the redheaded fourteen year old, he walked through the darkened house, and into the open room where Pony had entered. Pony motioned for Johnny to close the door, and Johnny nodded and shut it.   
  
"Pony...are you sure?" Johnny was nervous. He didn't know anything about sex; only what Two-Bit and Dally would ocassionally go on about. And that somewhat switched him off from the idea. Pony nodded, the normal serious expression on Pony's face. Johnny sat down on the large bed next to Pony, and looked down at the floor. He didn't know what to do.  
  
"I kinda know...what you're supposed to do...but only with a girl." Pony said, who was shyly looking over at Johnny. He was scared; if his brothers found out, he'd be as good as dead. But he wanted to show Johnny how much he loved him. He wanted to give his virginity to him. Johnny swallowed hard and turned his head to look at Pony again, black bangs covering his eyes slightly. Pony lay down on his back and moved in towards the center of the bed he and Soda had shared; now, it was the place he and Johnny would be together. Both their first times.  
  
Johnny crawled ontop of Pony, and running his fingers gently through the younger boy's hair, he leaned down to kiss him deeply. Pony opened his mouth, allowing him to enter. His hands went into Johnny's jacket, and gently roamed over his back and sides, underneath his shirt. Johnny stopped kissing the younger boy for a moment, and shook his head.  
  
"I don't think I should... Pony, we just told each other...and you're young..." Johnny's voice shook slightly as he felt Pony run a finger gently down his spine.  
  
"It's alright, Johnnycake. This is what I want..." Pony's hands gently wandered down Johnny's chest, and gently stroked his manhood through the jean. Johnny whimpered and shut his eyes; he'd never been touched there before. Pony continued to gently stroke him, and Johnny quickly removed his jacket and shirt before lying back upon the younger boy. Pony smiled and rolled over so he was ontop, and threw off his shirt with Johnny's. Laying down, they resumed their kiss, hands wandering. Johnny's erection was starting to hurt from the jeans, and he reached down and unzipped his pants, slowly squirming out of them. Pony sat upright and pulled them off him, and threw them aside. Johnny watched Pony discard of his jeans as well, and even though it was dark, he could see Pony's erection through his boxers. Johnny swallowed hard and tried not to think about what would happen if they were caught; he wanted to enjoy this moment.  
  
Pony was looking at Johnny's nearly naked body underneath him, eyes travelling over his chocolate skin, then back up to his eyes. He leaned down to kiss him again, and Johnny gasped into Pony's mouth as he pulled his boxers off him. The brief amount of time in which he felt cold was stopped by the warmth of Pony's gentle hand stroking him. Johnny broke the kiss to moan loudly and the sensation of his manhood being touched. Pony's hand continued to gently stroke him, and Johnny watched Pony remove his own boxers.   
  
They both sat upright, kissing and looking a each other's bodies, hot breath trailing over each other's shoulders and chests. Johnny was touching Pony's erection, and Pony was his. They continued stroking until Pony moaned loudly and pulled Johnny's hands off him.  
  
"Not like this..." Pony gently pushed Johnny into a laying position and got ontop of him. He was breathing heavily, and Johnny could tell he was thinking. Johnny closed his eyes, trying to relax. He spread his legs out for Pony, and felt something cold poke into his entrance. Johnny gasped and looked down at Pony, who was gently putting his fingers into him. Pony added another finger, making it a total of two. Johnny whimpered and his small body thrashed.  
  
"Does it hurt?" Pony was looking at Johnny gently as he added a third finger, and moved them in and out of Johnny. He whimpered in pain, and Pony gently massaged the muscles until he stopped whimpering.  
  
"Pony..." Johnny's eyes were shut tight. But when he felt Pony's warm body ontop of him, he opened the dark brown orbs to look at him. Pony leaned down to kiss him.   
  
"If you want to...inside me...it's okay." Pony stroked Johnny's cheek, trying to calm him down. When Johnny shook his head, Pony positioned himself so the head was right at Johnny's entrance. "Relax, and it won't hurt as much..." Johnny swallowed hard, and Pony pushed himself into Johnny. They moaned at the same time. Johnny, feeling Pony's manhood inside of him, and from the sharp, quick bolt of pain; Pony, feeling Johnny's tightness around him.   
  
"D...Do you want me to start?" Pony managed to say. He felt as if he was being constricted. Johnny nodded quickly, his chest rising and falling, heart racing. Pony pulled out slowly, then pushed back in quickly. Johnny whimpered and moaned, and Pony continued his slow, gentle pace, not wanting to hurt his friend. His lover.  
  
"Pony...faster...harder..." Johnny panted, and thrashed his head as Pony did as the older boy requested. They continued to moan and pant, and Pony eventually picked up speed, until he was pounding himself into Johnny. He took one of his hand off Johnny's hips, and stroked Johnny's erection. With a cry of estacy, Johnny's body shook and he came. Pony let out a low, long moan, and did the same inside Johnny. They both lay there, panting, catching their breath.  
  
"Pony..." Johnny felt Pony gently lapping up the sticky white fluid on his dark stomach. He smiled down at the younger boy, who climbed up and ontop of Johnny. Wrapping their arms around each other's waist, they cuddled together, and kissed one last time.  
  
"Ponyboy..." Johnny had to smile. This was all he'd ever wanted.  
  
"I love you, Johnny Cade." Ponyboy gave another grin, and kissed his forehead.  
  
~~~  
  
The End. Dun nun nun. 


End file.
